Slow Down

Why is it, that the bigger the truck or SUV someone drives, the more of an asshole they instantly become? (this goes for both male and female) Is it really necessary to do 90+ MPH in one of these things? (Suburbans, Hummers, Expeditions etc..)

Just about every day that I am on the road, I encounter these people driving these huge hunks of shit way too fast. To top it of, they get an attitude if they happen to be behind you, and you are only doing around 70 MPH. Obviously, they are more important than everyone else......

If you are driving a vehicle this large, you should not be going that fast, in fact you shouldn't even be going over 55 MPH on the highway. If you do this, then you should be beaten in public, 6 strikes with wet rattan for the first offense, and the amount of strikes increasing by a factor of 3 for every offense after that.

Another issue here, for all you assholes out there driving lifted trucks, (including those who simply put giant fucking rims on their vehicles) when you put bigger rims and tires on that huge hunk of shit you drive , it throws your fucking speedometer off. So while you're behind me, in a fit of road rage, know that your speedometer is anywhere from 15 - 20% off, and you are going faster than you think you are. Stop flashing your headlights, I'm not going to move, deal with it.
BTW, the last guy who followed me off the freeway into a gas station, and jumped out of his truck in a rage, ripping off his shirt, in a move that I can only guess was meant to impress me with his rippling muscles, didn't walk away.

Don't assume the deck is stacked in your favor just because someone is driving a smaller car than you are. I know the instant ego boost of driving a giant vehicle can be hard to manage, but it is worth your time and effort to counter this effect.

Recently, with the out of control gas prices, I have adopted a new driving style. To and from work, as well as around town, I drive 55 MPH highway, and usually stay behind big trucks if any are around. This increases my gas mileage by a rather large amount, and I already get great mileage to begin with, in the range of 40+ in a non-hybrid. I'm spending about 40% less on gas than I was driving between 65 - 75 MPH.

This can work for you too, it's simple, slow down, save money. Allow yourself a little more time to get where you are going, make a few adjustments in your schedule and all that, and give it a go. The adjustment really shouldn't be too hard for those of you who don't live a ridiculous distance from work.

The unfortunate result of this, is that even driving in the "slow" lane, I get even more assholes behind me flashing their lights and going into a rage than I did in the fast lane. If you happen to be one of these people, then may you be greeted by my special message of the day ,,!,

And may a whole pineapple find it's way into your rectum.